If you are feeling miserable you may resist this, and I understand. Just humor me for a few minutes, okay?
On the anniversary of Emilee’s diagnosis two years ago..May 9, 2015…and those of you reading this that do not know, she died three months ago. Just tuck that in the back of your head somewhere.
Somehow I clicked on some silly thing here for my profile or something or it was on Facebook….and it said…what makes you happy…at least that’s what I think I saw….and so…I think it erased what I wrote at one point, and when I recovered my composure, after ranting and raving and jumping up and down swearing……..
I rewrote…..of course the original thing I saw….it may have been a hallucination…LOL…a GOOD one….
Started this whole thing of what makes me happy….. and lo and behold….I could probably go on forever…who knew???
But forever is a long time….how long I do not know yet…. gotta be long though, don’t you think?…..
So I started a “what makes me happy list” and I realize….. I want to start keeping these kind of things in mind…..before it is toooooo late.
I know….you may be saying to yourself….right now I am anything but happy. I know.
How many of us do that “what am I grateful for TODAY”? thing….not many of us…. so many times we are just plain grumped out…lol…takes some effort to go to the “what am I grateful for state of mind” when we are stressed, hurting, sick from chemo or radiation, sick from just getting diagnosed with what you don’t want to hear, your world just fell apart…
You are angry, scared, in pain, struggling, dying, you know I could keep going…but you get the point……..just do it anyway….even one thing…..one damn thing….you farted and you feel a little better, there is one tiny spot on the left side of my nose that DOESN’T HURT…one thing…you were able to catch your breath between bouts of vomiting…. one thing….something? I am happy my spouse (child, parent, friend, partner, you name them) just wiped the_______ off my _______ because God knows, I couldn’t have.
I needed to start…….so I started…….and I am amazed at what brings me joy…..I want to put that first on my list….cultivating joy….it makes me happy. Is that redundant??
Here is what I came up with so far…. the list is endless in a way…. it really could go on forever….that in itself is sweet….sweeter than I would have thought possible…. but then… I am still learning….. always the student…. always… till I breathe my last breath…
So…go ahead…. make your own….if you can’t do it now, do it later, do it tomorrow, dictate to someone who can write for you….write it or type it if you can…. share it with someone you love…maybe they will learn how to add to your joy….maybe it will be an ongoing venture. Mine is. I know I have more to add already.
And, if I forget all this by tomorrow….would you please remind me?
What makes you happy? What makes you feel joy?
Cultivating joy in me, my family, friends, the earth, the world
Jazz, most kinds, especially smooth, funky, dance and movement inducing
Singing, especially with Al Jarreau, but almost any singing, scatting, improvising
Movement, always learning about how I move, learning how to move better
Planting plants and watching them sing in the sun
Butterflies in the garden
Breathing fresh air
Moving in the fresh air
Moving in and through the water
Jazz traditional to funky
Writing prose and poetry
Writing funny stories
Reading funny stories especially those written by people I know
but any funny story will do
Writing and reading stories of the heart
Learning what makes us tick
People who stand up for themselves and who stand up for others who cannot stand up for themselves
People who strive to make this a kinder, saner, more loving, caring , gentle world who
Want to keep this earth a kind and loving planet and like taking care of our mother
People who try to understand where a bully is hurting inside and tries to help them
People who believe that a woman (NOT the government) chooses what to do with her body
Presidents who I can trust (you understand?)
Food that is healthy for your body and does not harm the planet
Exercise that is good for my body
Feldenkrais movement lessons
Tibetan overtone chanting, and teaching it to others, especially children
My grandchildren, hugs from them and from people I want to hug me
Loving parents and grandparents and foster parents and anyone that encourages a child
When a parent teaches a child that the world can be a loving place, but we also must be smart and careful
Playing with or walking a friendly dog or puppy (do not want my own anymore, not at the moment anyway)
Eating my favorite cereal and yogurt for breakfast
Singing, singing jazz
A good spy novel by Vince Vaughn (rest in peace) or the Gabriel alons books …author?…Daniel Silva
Writing prose and poetry
Puns and tons of puns and plays on words
Rhymes in words
Rhymes in time
a good fire and good conversation
night sky someplace where i can really see the stars
the Perseid meteor showers
a good campfire
the song, and at this moment,”these are a few of my favorite things”
the original Saturday night live crew
good hallmark mysteries and good movies (thought provoking, questioning the status quo, tissues required)
a beautiful cello piece
music that moves my soul
brings me to tears
adults and children’s
beautiful art and pottery that moves me
hand made things
beautiful places I dream of going to
human powered movement (bicycle, skates)
spring when the leaves are just starting to leaf out like a Monet painting
art and literature
Fall before the leaves drop
watching a rabbit hop
watching a baby learning to move and explore
sooooooo much more
feeling the wind
shades of color
shades of gray
tones in general
many shapes and sizes of people and things
instruments and their voices
people with heart
everyday music that surrounds us
the sounds the world makes around me
texture of the bark on the tree
the sounds the birds sing
so much more
these are just a few
of my favorite things
and I wasn’t sure I knew what they were
the color of the sunrise and sunset
the shape of the clouds
the shape of the trees
the struggle to live
the simple things
warmth when I am cold
cold when I am too warm
words of encouragement
giving and receiving
a sweet song
a melody that stirs my heart
my grandchildren’s smiles
staying in the present
compassion or did I say that already….it bears repeating
there is much more
long luscious hair or no hair at all
my wrinkles and discovering new warts and moles on my body
brown spots on my skin
my saggin’ parts that make me laugh (go ahead, you can laugh, use your imagination)
I’ll try some of that please
Perspective is nine tenths of the joy (like possession is nine tenths of the law)
Perception on the other hand is often biased by preconceived notions of our view of the world and so can be distorted based on our inner framework of how we see things.
Perspective reminds me of an artist drawing a figure or a still life, since how the light hits the subject and where you are viewing it from, changes what you are seeing
Life After Emilee, on the loss of my wife to pancreatic cancer. I’m not accepting comments right now but please feel free to get in touch via my Contact page.