Most people want to hear happy stuff. And I do laugh every day, it’s on my list of requirements. But I want to attempt to describe an emotion.
It’s a little bit of a mix I think I need to talk to Ick about this.
Sam (Seasonal Affective Management): Ick, I am feeling a mixture of sadness, that ache of loss or absence, and at times an overwhelming loneliness longing for real connection.
Ick (Intuitive Counseling Kindness): Sam, can you describe what it feels like inside and where you feel it?
Sam: I will try. It is almost like a burning, an agitation, a feeling of tension, tightness in turmoil, and it starts in the center of my body where my guts are, where my internal organs are. It’s low so it feels like it’s almost under my stomach and it’s deep it seems to go from front to back and if I might say this, it goes into my groin also into my deep pelvis. And it moves, it seems to move up from there on each side, my right and my left, and comes up into my chest, comes up to my collarbones and starts to converge towards my neck goes into my neck seems to get all confused in my throat and somehow gets from my throat to my eyes, and some of it leaks out of my eyes.
Some of it tends to subside for a little while after it comes out of my eyes but when I do feel it, specially the last few days, it moves quickly from my gut to my eyes.
Ick: Sounds powerful, and I hear you saying it is full of sad and lonely and yet there seems to be something deeply beautiful about it as well. Maybe when you feel love that deeply, and you allow yourself to be so vulnerable, and you even examine it to see what it is all about, it feels very beautiful. Mix all those feelings with the memories of loved ones and that sure is some strong emotion.
Sam, I have to say, you have such insight and described the feelings in your body so well. I am very impressed. In the midst of all your emotions it is okay to you tell yourself that you are doing well. You are allowing your emotions, you are embracing your emotions, and you are learning that you can feel them and you don’t have to stay attached to them. You can let them go after you feel them. You are doing so well in learning and practicing how to do this. It only comes with practice even though it is painful at times. I would love to say it gets easier with time but I am not sure about that. It just becomes a little more familiar and it doesn’t feel so overwhelming, because you know it will pass. As long as you don’t bury the feelings, you are in the middle of it and you are more alive than ever.
Believe it or not, allowing yourself to feel vulnerable enables you to become stronger and more compassionate at the same time.
Let’s go take a walk.
Sam: I feel a little better, just having talked about what it all feels like inside. Ick, you are such a good friend. I love you.